People I Want to Punch in the Face

Have you ever felt the urge to punch someone in the face?

Nope? No one?

Not even that annoying sibling who spends too much time in the bathroom during the morning when you desperately need to relieve yourself?

Or that random asshole that decides to tailgate you even though you are already going 80 mph on the highway?

What about that same song that always seems to be playing on the radio? (i.e. any song by Taylor Swift or Bruno Mars?)

While more often than not, the phrase “I want to punch you in the face” is used as a figure of speech when one lacks the intellectual capacity in a particular moment to think of a better insult.

Nevertheless you should not disregard the fact that in some cases, one could indeed punch you in the face.

So why am I diving into this rant about face punching you may ask? Well, I wrote a short book about it once when I was 15.

Fifteen years of age was the peek teen angst year for Erin.

*  Cue the retro band tees, heavy eyeliner, sidebands and hours spent on Tumblr  *

Bored out of my mind as I was home alone one night, I decided to assemble a book of “People I Want to Punch in the Face.”

(Please note that I was not actually going to hit these people)

Necessary? No.

Psycho/pathetic? Probably.

Funny? Eh, kinda.

I even found a cover from a book report I composed in middle school to organize my papers.

Now, I am pretty sure I only shared this with three of my friends because I did find it rather embarrassing.

The book didn’t really resurface again until I was cleaning out my closet and came across this bad boy.

I truthfully didn’t know if I should shutter at my ridiculous angst or giggle.

While I would never post who these people are, I will share two of them with you.

and

 

While I do believe you should never physically punch someone in the face, I find it  necessary to relieve stress in a healthy form of aggression such a writing or exercise.

But if I were to update my “People I Want to Punch in the Face” book, this would be my list:

• Taylor Swift (still)
• Harvey Weinstein and crew of powerful men accused of sexual harassment
• All the traffic in Los Angeles during and not during rush hour
• Donald Trump
• Fireball
• The price increase on iPhones
• Graduate school applications
• Shitty WiFi
• Jay Z for cheating on Beyoncé
• Kim Jong Un
• The cost of gas
• People who are rude at restaurants
• My current part-time job at a restaurant
• Delayed flights
• Isis

 

Cheers,

Erin