I Moved to West Virginia Incase Anyone Forgot About Me

Greetings to my friends, family and online stalkers. It’s been awhile since I last posted something stupid about my life and a lot has happened since I wrote about how resumes are bullshit.

I currently no longer live in the confinement of my parents’ home and have since graduated from a twin bed to a full-size bed! But I think the real big change that I should let you know about is that I moved back in May…. to West Virginia!

I am currently pursuing my dual master’s degree in MBA and Sport Management at West Virginia University. A far cry from the outskirts of Los Angeles, WVU is situated along the Monongahela River in Morgantown, WV.

Upon my first week of living in Morgantown, I managed to get food poisoning, stuck in the pouring rain because my bus broke down, failed my first accounting quiz …. and threatened with small claims court by a psychopath whose boyfriend is wanted for murder (not as bad as you might think).

Before coming to West Virginia, I never visited the area and only knew of the general stereotypes from the hit MTV show Buckwild and the opioid crisis. While I knew this most likely was not an accurate representation of the state, I was left to believe otherwise over the course of my first few weeks here.

There is always the stereotype about people from West Virginia who marry their cousins… and I am here to tell you that this statement is 100% true (only from the one alcoholic guy I met at a bar).

Meet George.

George is a regular at the local bar my roommate works at. This bar is referred to as a “townie” bar AKA it is not cleaned regularly, Taylor Swift is not to be played, no craft beers are sold and cans are only $2.

George struck up a conversation with me while I was sitting at the bar. He asked where I was from and I started to tell him about California and how I didn’t know much about the area besides random stereotypes.

“Well if you are looking for stereotypes, you found it!”George explained.

George enthusiastically began to tell me about his past four wives, Woodstock, psychedelics and the daughter he just found out about a few years ago.

This was confirmed not by blood test, but the mere fact that they had matching birthmarks on their backs.

However, nothing beats George telling me about his eighth-grade love.

“I was messing around with this girl back in grade school,” George explained.

“My daddy found out about it and I thought he was going to whoop my ass. But he just pulled me aside and said, ‘I hate to break it to you, but Cindy is your second cousin!’ ”

“I fucked my cousin!” George blurted out.

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He also started telling me about how much he loves Trump and the whites will rise again. But that’s when I started to tune him out and devour myself (and clothes) in Morgantown’s juiciest burger.

Shout out Suncrest Pub, you are weird and trashy, but I love it.

Side note: George is by no means an accurate portrayal of the people of West Virginia.

There has been so much more to this experience than George that I can’t wait to write about when I am not procrastinating on homework and have a weeks’ worth of laundry to do.

I love my program and the people in it, I have the first job I ever truly liked (it also pays for my schooling) and my roommate cooks gourmet meals for me every damn night!!!

Moving across the country to a place where I knew no one wasn’t easy (I cried into my mac n’ cheese my first week because I realized I had bought expired milk), but I am so grateful that I did and I am enjoying the life I am living.

Stay tuned Sunday when I tell you about how I entered a weight lifting competition for no good reason whatsoever.

 

Cheers,

Erin

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